Friday, 16 August 2013 | 0 comments
Honestly, it's hard to be me. I live with lies and problems. I wake up with anxiety and I sleep with criticism. I have a lot of friends, but none of them are my REAL friend. I always act like I'm happy. I always act like I'm good. No one knows about my inside, about the real me, about the girl that always afraid of losing someone the she loves, about the girl that always force herself to fake smiles, about the girl who is perfect at twisting her reality life. No one really cares about me.
I hate it when people try to be nice with me when they always talk bad behind me. I hate it when I have to figure out something that is important to me at the last minute. I hate it when I look at them acting like that. I hate it when I always being left behind when they are gathering. I just hate everything.
Well yeah, you might be thinking; Dude, there are a lot of people facing worse problems than yours so stop bitching here, or Problems are the main reason why people smile because they finally knew how to solve it, or maybe Keep trying, you are still young. Fucking bullshits.
Yes, I do admit that I am not the only one who experience these shits. There are millions teenagers out there that are just the same like me. A perfect life person might say that I'm just like one of the characters from the TV; so full of dramas. You know what? Have you feel it? Have you ever feel this kind of too depressed feeling? No? So stop judging and stfu. Teenagers who are like me are easy enough being hurt by words. Do you know how they overcome it? They cried. Every. Single. Night. because no one is willing to hear their problems, to be there to give advice, or even lend a shoulder to cry on.
Another thing is, I don't understand my parents. Or maybe they don't understand me. Why? They always mad at me because I don't really spend time with them and I always lock myself in my room. But do you know? Do they ever ask me why I do that? NO. 'Cause when I try to talk to them, the very first sentence that will come out from their mouth is How's school? How's school?? Did they just ask me how's school???? If I could, I would tell them every single details about my problems at school but then Have you done studying? I bought you exercises books not for your room display okay and there goes my feet stepping annoyingly toward my room. Can you see that?
Wait what? Boyfriend? Heh. Can't even get myself a best friend but now we're talking about boyfriend? Yeah, right. I'm too easy to be tricked on, to be cheated on. They came, and they left. They thought that my heart is just like a fucking toy. You play and treat them with full of care, but when you got a new one, they just throw you away, not caring a shit. Hey, it wasn't my fault to be in love with them. And it wasn't their fault to be stupidly attracted to me. Shit happens, dude. But the one who always cry and heartbroken would always be me.
I don't write craps. This is the real me. This is my story. I'm just an author to the book of my life. I write memories, I write my thoughts, I write everything that happens around me. My problem is, I need to open a new book. I need to forget and erase all the memories that I've wrote. I need to be myself. I need to move on. Yeah, one day soon. I just hope I can close this old book and keep it safely in my heart.... or maybe not.
***
Sorry cos I didn't update with raya photos like what I promised in my last post. Promises are meant to be broken. Hah! Whatever. I'm just not in the mood today. My friends told me that they will raya together from one house to another so I was like "yeah my mom even suggested that you guys should come to my house" but they were like "uhh we will go to the other houses first but we can't confirm whether we go to your house or not" "i dont really understand the plan but oh well it's okay tho if you don't wanna come. i don't care. up to you guys." "let me make it clear. 10 am we will gather at nad's house and then we will start bla bla bla bla faham?" Seriously are you mad??? I just said that I didn't understand how the plan goes but she sent me the text like she was fucking mad at me for saying like that. Well fuck me, huh? All the rights go to her and all the wrongs come from me. Just great. I was just hoping for them to come to my house as well because my mom didn't get the chance to talk with them on last year's raya and also, I haven't once join them raya together because no one even bothers to INVITE me to celebrate raya with them before this. It's okay tho. Like what I said just now, no one really cares about me.
:)
Wednesday, 28 November 2012 | 3 comments
Assalamualaikum & Annyeong n.n
Kay aku sebenarnya menangis bila baca entry ni. Serious, baca tajuk dia je dah mengalir air mata. Entah kenapa, aku rasa macam baru je masuk group tu, padahal dah setahun dah ni 
Saat-saat bersama Whoopers? Hmm aku ni dah lah tak aktif. Kenangan mendenya kan hahaha. Tapi seriously, itu je lah group yang aku rasa aku suka dengan semua ahli dia. Cuma sorang tu je lah kan. Har har ._.
Saat-saat bersama Whoopers? Hmm aku ni dah lah tak aktif. Kenangan mendenya kan hahaha. Tapi seriously, itu je lah group yang aku rasa aku suka dengan semua ahli dia. Cuma sorang tu je lah kan. Har har ._.
Well, maybe korang dah lupa kot pasal tu. Sebab aku pun tak suka kecoh-kecoh kan masalah. Aku sebenarnya nak pendam je dalam hati, tapi bila dah sakit sangat, aku terpaksa bertindak. I made a stupid decision on that time, I leaved the group. Sengal kan aku? Tapi kalau aku tak buat perkara yang sengal tu, maybe aku akan sakit hati sampai ke hari ni. Hmm. And thanks to Darla unnie for helping me /bows/ 
Lepas beberapa minggu, aku masuk balik group tu. Orang tu pun dah senyap je. So aku rasa, okaylah biarlah apa nak jadi, tapi kalau benda ni happen lagi, memang aku terpaksa leave group tu and tak join balik. And yes, aku menangis. Menangis bukan sebab sakit hati, tapi menangis sebab aku yang tak selalu bergaul dengan diorang ni pun tetap ada manusia yang ambik berat pasal aku 
And dari kejadian tu lah, aku dapat best friend nama Alyaa 
Seriously guys, dia ni baik gila and comel and sporting and comel and macam-macam lah. Hahaha. Kitorang selalu chat dekat fb. One day, dia ada call. And, it was my very first time for hearing her voice! Suara cam budak umur enam tahun wehhh jealous aku hahaha 
Seriously guys, dia ni baik gila and comel and sporting and comel and macam-macam lah. Hahaha. Kitorang selalu chat dekat fb. One day, dia ada call. And, it was my very first time for hearing her voice! Suara cam budak umur enam tahun wehhh jealous aku hahaha
Uhhhhmmm bias? Terang lagi ber-flaslight dah, of course Seungri 
Hohoho. And madu? Wait, madu? Aku tak tahu lah tapi aku rasa Hafiz hyung sorang je kot hehehe. Sebab kebanyakan korang ni suka group-group baru cam EXO and B.A.P, kan kan kan? ._.
Hohoho. And madu? Wait, madu? Aku tak tahu lah tapi aku rasa Hafiz hyung sorang je kot hehehe. Sebab kebanyakan korang ni suka group-group baru cam EXO and B.A.P, kan kan kan? ._.
"5 Whoopers yang anda rapat" Seriously weh nak nangis aku baca point tu. Bila dikira, tak lebih tak kurang, lol memang tepat-tepat 5 orang ni je yang aku rasa aku rapat:
1. Alyaa : Because she is my best friend 
2. Caca : Because she is my twin 
3. Filda : Because she is my spazzing partner 
4. Nick : Because she ships eunhae 
5. Hafiz hyung (saje je tambah hahaha) : Because he is the best hyung I've ever knew 
Geng spazzing dulu-dulu tu...... dah lupa lah lol. Sebab dulu dah follow kat twitter, lepas tu korang tukar nama, lepas tu tak letak nama betul korang lol macam lah aku letak so aku tak tahu korang ni siapa and sampai malu kalau nak tegur. Takut-takut salah orang sobs. Tapi yang aku still ingat, Yoon. Dia, mana boleh orang lupa. Pfft. Hahaha. Hm lagi.... Aff, Elin, Najun, Aimi, Ana dengan Nana unnie. Tu je kot yang dulu aku rasa aku rapat.
Gambar kenangan? Awww tak ada 
Oh well, nak buat macam mana kan? Haha. Takpa takpa. Kalau ada chance, kita tangkap gambar sesama lol ada ke orang nak tangkap gambar dengan aku? And the last thing, the song that gives a lot of meaning about whoopers for me, is right now, currently playing on this blog. It is a new song, and it sounds sad, but, the lyrics are meaningful sobs. And yes, the singer is Lee Hi, my cute sis. Eh?
Oh well, nak buat macam mana kan? Haha. Takpa takpa. Kalau ada chance, kita tangkap gambar sesama lol ada ke orang nak tangkap gambar dengan aku? And the last thing, the song that gives a lot of meaning about whoopers for me, is right now, currently playing on this blog. It is a new song, and it sounds sad, but, the lyrics are meaningful sobs. And yes, the singer is Lee Hi, my cute sis. Eh?
They say that even 1 year, things change from now
And that there won’t be any painful things then
But I know my heart very well
I know so well that it won’t change
Because everyone has a soul mate in this world
And that kind of love cannot be forgotten
Hope lepas anniversary ni, kita akan jadi lebih rapat lagi, okay? 
Hehehehe. And and and jangan lupa trend #Whoopers1stAnniversary kat twitter~ Btw, I just met you, and this is crazy, but this is my twitter account, so let's spazz baby!
Hehehehe. And and and jangan lupa trend #Whoopers1stAnniversary kat twitter~ Btw, I just met you, and this is crazy, but this is my twitter account, so let's spazz baby!Sorry kalau nama korang tak ada. Tapi tak apa, sebab nama korang sentiasa di dalam hatiku lol ew cheesy gila hahaha
Labels: friend, life, sobs, whoopers
Wednesday, 21 November 2012 | 0 comments
Assalamualaikum & Annyeong n.nWoot woot. Penat weh hangout dari pukul 11 pagi sampai 6 petang
Tapi seronok jugak. Sebab dah lama tak jumpa lol lama lah sangat hahaha. Actually dah janji gerak dari rumah pukul 10.40 am. Ceh, nak gerak awal lah kononnya. Sekali dah sampai, tengok-tengok rupanya aku yang lambat haha segan aku 
First, kitorang gi cinema, nak beli tiket dulu. Kitorang decide nak tengok cerita Istanbul Aku Datang. Kebetulan time tu hari rabu, so dapat discount lah
Then, kitorang jalan-jalan, tengok-tengok kedai. Sab and Syasya awal-awal lagi dah masuk kedai. Haha. Sab cakap nak beli earphone. Know what, semua accessories+baju+bag yang dia jual, semuanya OH-MY-GOD-WHY-SO-BEAUTIFUL! Serious, dah berapa tahun aku datang shopping dekat Aeon Tebrau ni, tak pernahnya aku jejak kaki kat dalam kedai tu 
Lepas tu kitorang gi food court. Nak makan-makan dulu. Well apparently, I didn't eat. I was too worried that I will out of money in just a minute. So I just bought ice lemon tea huhuhu
Time makan, mata aku tenung je dekat arcade games. Hahaha. Lepas kitorang siap makan, terus gi main. Yang paling tak tahan tu time main game air hockey. Syasya ketuk puck tu kuat gila sampai benda tu ter-pelanting dekat lantai 
Geram sangat kot hahaha.
Main-main-main, dah pukul 12.40 pm. Kitorang gi surau jap, lepas dah siap, terus gi cinema. Kitorang masuk pukul 1.40 pm gitu. Time masuk, tengok-tengok dah ramai orang. Kay beza gila dengan cinema kat Today lol 
Btw, cerita tu romantik and sedih gila tsk tsk Sampai Nureen yang duduk sebelah aku ni asyik cakap "Eh nak nagis aku *sobs*" Hahaha. Yang Arissa pulak asyik langgar siku aku, cakap yang dia tak tahan nak kencing. Itu okay lagi. Yang tak tahannya, orang belakang pulak asyik memekak. Haduih, tak focus aku tengok cerita tu 
Hm sayang sebab Faiz tak join hmm. Asyik gi cuti-cuti malaysia je. Tampar kang 
Haha jealous aku. Asyik duduk rumah je. Yang dia, gi bercuti. Hmmmph 
Btw, cerita tu romantik and sedih gila tsk tsk Sampai Nureen yang duduk sebelah aku ni asyik cakap "Eh nak nagis aku *sobs*" Hahaha. Yang Arissa pulak asyik langgar siku aku, cakap yang dia tak tahan nak kencing. Itu okay lagi. Yang tak tahannya, orang belakang pulak asyik memekak. Haduih, tak focus aku tengok cerita tu Hm sayang sebab Faiz tak join hmm. Asyik gi cuti-cuti malaysia je. Tampar kang Haha jealous aku. Asyik duduk rumah je. Yang dia, gi bercuti. Hmmmph
Then, kitorang gi lagi food court. Diorang lapar, nak beli waffle. Lepas tu sambung main game sebab token ada lebih lagi. Syasya dengan Nureen dah sah-sah main air hockey lagi. Tapi time tu ada budak cina tengah main, so diorang pergi main dekat tempat junior punya
Sab dengan Caca pulak pergi main drum 
Aku? Hahaha aku main camera je Lepas tu pergi tangkap gambar dekat booth selca tu. Ah entah apa nama machine tu, lantaklah hohoho. Tapi kitorang tak guna machine tu, kitorang just tangkap gambar dalam machine tu. Ye lah, 4 keping gambar size kecik macam keychain je RM10. So lebih baik cuci dekat machine kodak tu. Satu keping baru RM1. Jimat woo. Hahaha
Lepas tu pergi tangkap gambar dekat booth selca tu. Ah entah apa nama machine tu, lantaklah hohoho. Tapi kitorang tak guna machine tu, kitorang just tangkap gambar dalam machine tu. Ye lah, 4 keping gambar size kecik macam keychain je RM10. So lebih baik cuci dekat machine kodak tu. Satu keping baru RM1. Jimat woo. Hahaha 
Dah siap semua, kitorang pergi kedai Season, nak beli roti sikit. Oh cakap pasal roti, aku terlupa nak bayar duit roti kat Caca. Tergopoh-gapah tadi sebab mak suruh masuk kereta cepat, nak gi klinik gigi. Parking dekat-dekat dengan Harris pulak tu. Dah aku kena patah balik. Dengan dua-dua kaki melecet, terpaksa jalan laju-laju. Seriously, terseksa aku time tu.
Masuk je kereta, tengok ibu tengah menangis sebab tahan sakit kat gusi dia. Hmm kalau lah aku lari and bukan jalan tadi. Kesian ibu sobs sobs. Tengah tengok-tengok kereta dekat jalan raya, tetiba teringat yang Sab ada bagi hadiah. Rupanya kotak ada isi paperclip cute-cute. Kyaaa thanks Sab. And thanks at Nureen too for giving me the strawberry keychain. Soooooooooo appreciate it 
So.............. here I am, tengah baring-baring dekat atas katil. Aaaaaah tak boleh lupakan semua scene yang romantik dalam filem tu sobs. Aaaaaah Korea Aku Datang lmfao 
Okay sampai sini je lah, sebelum aku merepek benda lain lagi hahaha. Kbye~
Okay sampai sini je lah, sebelum aku merepek benda lain lagi hahaha. Kbye~xoxo, A. Publish. LOL OK SRSLY BYE.
Labels: friend, happy birthday, life, sobs
Sunday, 24 June 2012 | 0 comments
Assalamualaikum & annyeong, peeps~
HI GUISE. We haven't met for a long time, rite? sobs ;-; I was busy with tumblr. Reblog this, reblog that. Edit this, edit that. But we still can meet at twitter (only for those who followed me :p). lol so how's life? mine is not great :B
Y'know... I've never got numbers above 15 in my class. But my mid-term result.... I got number 29, OVER 37 FUCKIN SMART PEOPLE. For me, 29 is the worse number ever! I didn't thought that I could get such a rank sobs. And I still haven't told my dad yet ._. Ugh I am so frustrated /sigh/
Stop talking about exam already. Pfft. Oh oh oh July is getting neaaaaaar. I can't wait for Ramadhan >.< Altho it's a month of starving. And someone is celebrating his birthday on 27th July~ Eww lol. Amerul, I won't buy you that-so-called-expensive-extraordinary-20's-photobook :p It costs RM470 dude! Like seriously, I would rather print the scan of the whole photobook instead of buying it. Tho I'm not sure I could print it for ya. Hehehehehe :3
And I just wanna tell you guys, I can't accept background request anymore. My laptop is dead :B I can't use photoshop since I only installed it on my laptop sobs. Life's suck :'c
My babies are coming to Malaysia on October. B-but, I can't go to their concert. Too far, too expensive. But it's okay. For those who are going to Alive Tour, I'm hoping for thousands of fancam from you guysAND MAKE SURE IT'S HIGH QUALITY COS I WANNA SEE MY BABIES' SMOOTH FACE, CLEARLY otl otl otl
I've been enjoying watching running man lately. I can't stop shipping Tiger-Giraffe couple & Monday couple. They're so so so so so cute tbh, even tho Kwangsoo always betray his own members lol. Eh I bet everyone had know about seungri's new hair. I mean, why the fuck did he style his hair like a chestnut? And his hair doesn't know how to grow >:( I hate him. Talking about my husband, lemme put some cute gif of him <3
And I just wanna tell you guys, I can't accept background request anymore. My laptop is dead :B I can't use photoshop since I only installed it on my laptop sobs. Life's suck :'c
My babies are coming to Malaysia on October. B-but, I can't go to their concert. Too far, too expensive. But it's okay. For those who are going to Alive Tour, I'm hoping for thousands of fancam from you guys
I've been enjoying watching running man lately. I can't stop shipping Tiger-Giraffe couple & Monday couple. They're so so so so so cute tbh, even tho Kwangsoo always betray his own members lol. Eh I bet everyone had know about seungri's new hair. I mean, why the fuck did he style his hair like a chestnut? And his hair doesn't know how to grow >:( I hate him. Talking about my husband, lemme put some cute gif of him <3
He's cute right? Yeah I know o(≧▽≦)o
Labels: gosh, only God knows how much I missed my baby's old hair, random, sobs
